The Patience Principle: Unlocking Your Leadership Potential

In my years as a coach, I've worked with countless leaders who have incredible visions for their organizations. They're passionate, skilled communicators with an unwavering commitment to their mission. But even the most talented leaders can find themselves stuck.

One particularly memorable case involved a leader who had a clear vision but struggled to gain traction. During my 360 data gathering process, I interviewed his peers and asked about the leader's vision. The collective response was telling: "The vision is crystal clear, but we're unsure about the next steps. It's as if he's been dreaming of this his whole life, and we're just now catching up."

When I presented this feedback to the leader, his initial reaction was one of impatience: "We don't have time to wait for them to process this. The time is now!" But as we dug a little deeper, we discovered that the issue wasn't a lack of urgency from the team. Rather, it was a lack of connection between the team and the leader. 

This is where the power of patience comes in. 

Patience is about devoting the appropriate time and attention to others in ways that enhance meaningful interaction. It's about suspending your personal needs for satisfaction and action, slowing down fast-paced exchanges to facilitate better decision-making. Patience means not racing ahead in your thought process while missing information that others are trying to share. It's about seizing every opportunity to encourage, inspire, and motivate your team.

In leadership, patience is a critical component of building trust and creating a sense of shared ownership. When you take the time to truly listen to your team, to understand their perspectives and concerns, you create an environment where everyone feels valued and invested in the vision.

So how can you practice patience in your leadership life? Here are a few strategies: 

1. Practice active listening: Give your full attention to the person speaking, without interrupting or mentally preparing your response.

2. Ask clarifying questions: Seek to understand your team's perspectives by asking open-ended questions and digging deeper into their concerns.

3. Reflect before responding: Take a moment to process what you've heard before reacting. This can help you respond more thoughtfully and effectively.

4. Communicate the "why": When sharing your vision, make sure to clearly articulate the reasoning behind it. This helps your team understand and buy into the bigger picture.

5. Celebrate progress: Recognize and reward your team's efforts along the way, even if the ultimate goal is still in the distance. This helps maintain motivation and momentum.

By embracing patience and taking the time to truly connect with your team, you'll create an environment of trust and shared purpose, where everyone is invested in turning the vision into reality.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. What role has patience played in your leadership journey? What strategies have you found effective for building meaningful connections with your team? 

The Illusion of Invincibility: Redefining What It Means for Teams to Thrive

As a coach, I often encounter what I call the "high-performance paradox" – teams that appear to be firing on all cylinders while simultaneously showing signs of systemic strain. Recently, this pattern emerged during my work with an elite sales team, leading me to a deeper exploration into what truly constitutes healthy team performance.

The Illusion of Invincibility

On paper, this team was extraordinary. Their roster read like a "who's who" of industry veterans, each maintaining deep relationships with key decision-makers across their customer base. They consistently achieved their annual targets by Q3, earning them a reputation as organizational rock stars. But beneath this veneer of success lay an important question: Were they truly operating at their optimal potential?

The foundation of genuine team health isn't just about meeting metrics – it's about creating an environment where collective achievement transcends individual capability. When teams reach this state of emotional and operational synergy, they experience what I call "sustainable excellence." However, this requires something many high-performing teams overlook: emotional intelligence.

The Performance-Health Connection

This relationship between performance and holistic health was perfectly illustrated during a recent conversation with a colleague who serves as a medical consultant for marathon runners. He shared a striking observation from a planning committee for a major marathon: among 20 physician-runners – all successful professionals under 55 – eight had heart stents.

This statistic serves as a powerful metaphor for organizational health. Just as athletes can push their bodies to the point of breakdown, teams can drive themselves to achieve short-term goals while unknowingly compromising their long-term sustainability. The key lies in developing what I call "performance intelligence" – the ability to recognize and respond to both visible and invisible stress signals within your team.

Transforming Team Dynamics Through Emotional Intelligence

When I was brought in to work with this high-performing team, the organization's objective was clear: help these technical experts see themselves as organizational leaders. This required more than just skill development – it demanded a fundamental shift in self-perception and emotional awareness.

How do you guide a team through such a transformation? I've found success focusing on two key emotional intelligence pillars:

1. Deep Listening as a Leadership Practice

We began with an exercise that challenged their existing communication patterns. Rather than their usual rapid-fire problem-solving approach, team members participated in structured listening sessions where they could only listen – not respond, not solve, just listen.

This practice developed two critical emotional intelligence competencies:

• Self-regulation: Managing the impulse to immediately jump to solutions

• Empathy: Truly understanding others' perspectives before forming responses

The impact was immediate and profound. Team members began recognizing how their previous communication style, while efficient, often missed crucial emotional and contextual cues that could lead to better solutions.

2. Emotional Agility in Conflict

The second focus area addressed their conflict avoidance tendencies. Instead of assertively engaging with challenges, this team had developed a pattern of passive withdrawal, often internalizing frustrations with statements like, "If they don't value our input, that's their problem."

We worked on developing:

• Self-awareness: Understanding individual conflict styles

• Relationship management: Building skills to navigate disagreements productively

• Social awareness: Reading organizational dynamics more effectively

The Leadership Imperative

As leaders, our responsibility extends beyond monitoring performance metrics. It’s up to us to create environments where emotional intelligence and high performance coexist and reinforce each other. This requires:

1. Regular check-ins on team emotional health

2. Creating safe spaces for authentic dialogue

3. Modeling emotional intelligence in our own leadership

4. Celebrating both achievement and growth

The path to sustainable excellence requires balancing high performance with emotional intelligence. How are you supporting both dimensions in your team?

Remember, true team health isn't just about what your team achieves – it's about how they achieve it, and whether they can maintain that excellence over time. 

Mastering Emotional Resilience Through Organizational Challenges

When your organization faces significant change, maintaining your emotional balance becomes both more challenging and more crucial. Whether you're managing a restructuring, adapting to new leadership, or dealing with unexpected setbacks, these situations test your resilience as a leader.

Understanding the Impact

Consider the challenges you might face: mergers that reshape team dynamics, relocations that disrupt established routines, or project failures that demand honest reflection. These situations don't need to be catastrophic to impact your effectiveness—even positive changes can create stress and uncertainty.

Research published in Leadership Quarterly examined how 163 leaders navigated periods of organizational tension. The findings were clear: when team members perceived their leaders effectively managing emotions while maintaining focus on goals and future vision, their confidence in leadership increased significantly. Conversely, leaders who suppressed their emotions saw decreased job satisfaction among their teams.

The CHECK Approach to Emotional Balance

I've found that successful leaders maintain their effectiveness during challenging times by following a structured approach to emotional awareness and action:

Consider the Situation

• Step back and assess events objectively

• Identify which emotions are surfacing and why

• Question whether your emotional responses are creating unrealistic expectations

Hear from Others

• Seek perspective from two or three trusted advisors

• Listen actively, but avoid getting caught in cycles of unproductive discussion

• Use feedback to broaden your understanding, not validate existing concerns

Eliminate Negativity

• Challenge the assumption that difficult situations are permanent

• Focus your energy on identifying potential solutions

• Practice what psychologist Martin Seligman calls "positive explanatory style"—how you interpret and explain challenges to yourself shapes your response to them

Create a Plan

• Define your desired outcome clearly

• Map the specific steps needed to move forward

• Visualize success before taking action

• Break complex challenges into manageable tasks

Keep Your Head Up

• Maintain consistent leadership presence, especially when facing uncertainty

• Find regular moments to step back, reflect, and recharge

• Focus on progress rather than perfection

Putting CHECK into Practice

Think about a current challenge you're facing. How might each element of the CHECK approach help you navigate it more effectively? When leaders maintain their emotional balance, they create space for thoughtful decisions rather than reactive responses.

Consider writing "CHECK" somewhere visible in your workspace. Let it serve as a reminder that even in demanding situations, you have tools to maintain your effectiveness and support your team's success.

The most impactful leaders I've worked with don't just survive challenging times—they use them as opportunities to demonstrate steady, purposeful leadership. They understand that their response to difficulty sets the tone for their entire organization.

Remember: organizational challenges are inevitable. Your ability to maintain emotional resilience through them will define both your leadership impact and your team's success in navigating change.

Looking to strengthen your leadership resilience? Let's explore how targeted coaching can help you lead more effectively through change.

Ask Great Questions, Lead Great Teams

As a coach, I often hear leaders wrestling with questions that shape their professional journey. Questions like "What can I do to develop a team that stays engaged for the long haul?" Or "How do I set work/life balance boundaries that are sustainable? " 

These are meaningful questions, but I've found that reframing them often reveals deeper insights about what really drives success.

The Question Behind the Question

When leaders ask me about developing their teams, they're often really asking: "How can I create an environment where people naturally grow and succeed?" When discussing work-life balance, the core question might be: "What trade-offs am I willing to make, and how will they impact both my team and my family?" 

This is where self-efficacy comes into play – that deeply held belief in our ability to succeed. Research consistently shows that leaders who believe in their capabilities not only perform better but also create environments where others can thrive. They understand that success isn't just about strategies and systems; it's about how we engage with and inspire those around us.

Three Coaching Practices That Get Results

As leaders and coaches, we're always seeking evidence-based approaches that actually move the needle on performance and development. While many practices sound good in theory, finding ones that consistently deliver results is another matter entirely.

That's what caught my attention about a compelling study in the Consulting Psychology Journal. Their research identified three key practices that can help those you coach to be more successful:

1. Invest in Meaningful Connections

It's not just about time spent; it's about the quality of your interactions. As you build relationships with your team, notice their growth patterns. When you observe increasing confidence, acknowledge it specifically: "I've seen how you're tackling challenges with more assertiveness lately. What's contributed to that change?"

2. Encourage Clear Commitments

When people verbalize their intentions, they're more likely to follow through. Create opportunities for team members to articulate both their goals and their thought processes. Statements like "I'm committed to leading this project because..." carry more weight than simple agreements. This verbal commitment strengthens both resolve and capability.

3. Master the Art of Purposeful Questions

Your questions can either expand or limit possibilities. Research identifies three types of coaching questions, each serving different purposes:

• Open exploration: "What possibilities do you see here?"

• Solution-focused inquiry: "What resources would help you move forward?"

• Supportive validation: "That's an interesting approach. Tell me more about your thinking."

While solution-focused questions prove effective in initial interactions, sustainable leadership development comes from creating an environment where open exploration and supportive dialogue become the norm.

Impact Over Input

As leaders, we often feel pressure to demonstrate our value through constant advice-giving. However, true leadership impact comes from building others' capabilities and confidence. Instead of jumping to solutions, focus on:

• Creating an environment where people feel comfortable sharing ideas

• Demonstrating transparency in your own decision-making

• Recognizing progress while maintaining high standards

• Using questions that promote both critical thinking and creative solutions

Put It Into Practice

How might your leadership transform if you focused on building not just competence, but confidence throughout your organization? What if every interaction became an opportunity to enhance both professional capability and personal growth?

Remember, in today's complex business environment, technical expertise alone isn't enough. The most effective leaders are those who can create environments where people feel empowered to grow, challenge themselves, and achieve their full potential.

What's your next step in developing these practices within your leadership approach?

The Surprising Truth About Change Resistance

"I don't get it, Scott," my client said, clearly frustrated. "I feel like I’ve done everything right – built the case, created the timeline, communicated the vision. Why is everyone still pushing back?" As we dug deeper into her team's resistance, it became clear that what seemed like opposition was actually something far more valuable: her team was trying to tell her something important, and it was time to start listening. 

This conversation sparked a realization for me. What if we've been thinking about resistance all wrong? Instead of seeing it as an obstacle to overcome, what if we saw it as valuable data about our organization's health, culture, and readiness?

Reading Between the Lines

Think about the last time you encountered strong resistance to change. If you're like most leaders, your instinct was probably to push harder, communicate more clearly, or double down on your efforts to gain buy-in. But here's what I've learned from working with hundreds of leaders: Resistance often carries critical intelligence about our blind spots.

A classic example of this plays out in technology implementations. When one company rolled out a new project management system, resistance surfaced immediately. But something interesting happened when leadership stepped back to understand why. The pushback wasn't about the change itself – it revealed critical workflow dependencies that the new system hadn't considered. By taking these concerns seriously, the company ended up with a stronger solution than their original plan. What started as resistance became the blueprint for success.

The Language of Resistance

The key to leveraging resistance lies in understanding its language. When team members say "This won't work," they're often really saying "I see potential problems you might have missed." When they say "We're not ready," they might mean "There are crucial prerequisites we need to address first."

Organizations that integrate structured feedback channels during periods of major change can often gain vital insights that a purely top-down approach might miss. Rather than focusing solely on overcoming resistance, regular feedback sessions and open communication pathways allow team members to raise concerns and share unique perspectives. This approach fosters stronger, more adaptive solutions that better meet operational demands and preemptively address potential challenges.

Turning Resistance into Results

The most successful change initiatives share a common thread: they treat resistance as a resource rather than a roadblock. Here's how to put this principle into practice:

1. Start by asking different questions.
   Instead of "How do we overcome this resistance?" ask "What is this resistance trying to tell us?" This shift in perspective often reveals legitimate concerns about processes, safety, or customer impact that need to be addressed for successful implementation.
   
   

2. Create dedicated channels for constructive feedback.
   When people have clear, safe ways to voice concerns, they often surface valuable insights about workflows, customer needs, and operational gaps. These perspectives can strengthen the original plan and prevent potential problems.
   
   

3. Look for patterns in the pushback.
   When resistance clusters around specific aspects of a change, it usually points to important issues that need attention. These patterns often highlight gaps in processes, overlooked dependencies, or critical workflow requirements. Addressing these concerns leads to more effective solutions, stronger outcomes, and greater organizational success.

The Leadership Challenge

Your role as a leader isn't to eliminate resistance – it's to translate it into actionable intelligence. This requires a fundamental shift in how we view pushback. 

The key lies not in pushing harder, but in listening deeper. When we treat resistance as intelligence rather than interference, we often end up with better solutions than we started with.

The next time you face resistance to change, pause before pushing back. Ask yourself: What might this resistance be trying to tell me? What valuable insights might I miss if I simply try to overcome it? The answers might surprise you – and they'll almost certainly lead to better outcomes.

Beyond Performance: Building Truly Healthy Teams

Team health is one of those concepts we toss around in leadership conversations as if we all agree on its meaning. But do we? 

When Excellence Isn't Enough

I recently had the privilege of working with what many would consider an exemplary team – industry veterans with impressive networks and consistent results. Their contact lists went three to four layers deep into key customer organizations. By the third quarter, they had already hit their annual targets. On paper, they were the definition of success.

But here's what makes this interesting: sometimes our greatest strengths can mask underlying challenges that, if left unaddressed, can undermine long-term success. It's similar to what a physician friend recently shared about a committee of marathon-running doctors he chaired. Among these 20 accomplished professionals – all under 55 and at the peak of their careers – eight had heart stents. High performance, it turns out, doesn't always equal health.

Understanding True Team Health

Think of team health as the foundation that either strengthens or weakens performance over time. When teams are truly healthy, they achieve something remarkable – a synergy that enables them to accomplish what no individual member could do alone. This creates a sense of possibility and potential that elevates everyone's game.

However, when we overemphasize certain aspects of performance while neglecting the human elements of our teams, we risk creating what I call "performance theater" – impressive short-term results that mask deteriorating team dynamics.

Transforming Team Dynamics

When I began working with this high-performing team, our focus wasn't on their already impressive metrics. Instead, we explored how they could evolve as leaders within their organization. This meant examining their assumptions about performance and leadership, then developing new approaches to their work.

This type of transformation requires what organizational learning experts call double-loop learning – questioning not just how we do things, but why we do them and what we might be missing.

Two Pathways to Team Development

I've found two approaches particularly effective in helping teams evolve beyond pure performance metrics:

1. Exploration Through New Perspectives

One powerful exercise we used focused on fundamental listening skills. Team members paired up for structured listening sessions, with each round presenting increasingly challenging scenarios. The only rule? They had to focus completely on understanding their partner's perspective.

This simple yet profound exercise helped the team recognize something crucial: while having strong opinions is valuable, understanding others' perspectives opens doors to the organizational synergy their senior management sought.

2. Advancement Through Process Innovation

This involves improving existing systems while fostering creativity and adaptation. For instance, we discovered that when faced with challenges (like being left off meeting invites), the team often defaulted to passive responses: "If they don't value our input, that's their problem."

Together, we worked on understanding individual conflict styles and developing more constructive responses. This wasn't just about being more assertive – it was about finding authentic ways to engage that aligned with both individual and team strengths.

The Leader's Role in Team Health

As a leader, your responsibility extends beyond tracking metrics and ensuring deliverables. You're the steward of your team's overall health. This means:

• Creating space for authentic dialogue

• Supporting sustainable high performance practices

• Recognizing that team health drives long-term success

• Understanding that different situations require different approaches

Looking Forward

The question isn't whether your team is delivering results – it's whether they're building the capabilities and relationships that will sustain and enhance that performance over time. Are you creating an environment where team members can:

• Share perspectives openly and constructively?

• Address challenges directly and productively?

• Support each other's growth and development?

• Maintain high performance without burning out?

Remember: Truly healthy teams don't just perform well – they create an environment where sustained excellence becomes possible, even inevitable. They develop the capacity to face challenges, adapt to change, and grow stronger together.

What steps will you take today to move your team beyond performance toward true health?

What Your Team Isn't Telling You (And Why It Matters)

Have you ever wondered what your team isn’t telling you?

As a leader, are you creating an environment where your team feels safe? Safe to share their thoughts, safe to be themselves, and safe to bring their challenges forward without fear of being judged.

George Eliot once wrote, “Oh, the comfort... the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person... pouring them all right out, just as they are... certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” His words, I believe, resonate deeply with what it means to lead effectively.

Let’s explore how these concepts—safety, authenticity, and discernment—apply to leadership and what they mean for creating a safe and healthy team culture.

Creating Psychological Safety

When people feel secure in their environment, they’re more likely to communicate openly, take creative risks, and be fully engaged. Without this foundation, even the most talented individuals can feel stifled.

Consider this: If your team is only bringing you what they think you want to hear, are they really contributing at their highest potential? If they feel judged or dismissed, the answer is likely no. When people are worried about how their input will be received, they hold back. As leaders, we need to create a space where people feel comfortable sharing both the good and the bad.

What might your team be holding back? It could be:

• Concerns about project feasibility

• Ideas for process improvements

• Feedback on your leadership style

• Personal struggles affecting their work

• Conflicts within the team

Are you letting your team know that their voices matter, even when they deliver tough feedback or own up to mistakes? When you lead in this way, you don’t just get information—you get insights, creativity, and buy-in.

Leading with Authenticity

A significant part of leadership is showing up as your authentic self. People respond to leaders who are real—who don’t hide behind titles or put up a façade. Authentic leadership isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present and genuine.

I often hear from leaders who say, "I just want to be myself. I want to lead in a way that reflects my own values and ethics." This aligns closely with what followers want too—leaders who are approachable, consistent, and sincere. Authenticity builds trust, and trust is the cornerstone of any successful team.

However, being authentic isn’t always easy. It requires a level of self-awareness and reflection, both about who you are and how you’re perceived by your team. It also means being open to feedback, showing vulnerability, and admitting when you don’t have all the answers. Your team doesn’t expect you to be flawless, but they do expect you to be honest.

Sifting the Chaff from the Grain

George Eliot’s metaphor about sifting "chaff and grain" offers a powerful image for leadership. The grain represents the valuable insights, contributions, and feedback your team brings, while the chaff is the noise—the unhelpful, distracting, or less relevant pieces. As a leader, your role is to listen, take in all the information, and discern what’s worth keeping.

This discernment is key. Leadership is about sorting through both the good and the bad, recognizing which elements will drive the team forward, and letting go of what isn’t serving the greater goal. When your team trusts you to do this fairly, they’ll be more willing to share openly, knowing that you’ll focus on what matters and let the rest fall away without judgment.

But ask yourself—how often are you allowing your team the space to bring everything to the table, chaff and grain together? Do they feel safe enough to be honest, knowing you’ll treat their input with care?

Reflect and Refine

Leadership is an ongoing process of growth. It requires regular reflection on how well you’re fostering a safe, authentic environment where trust and open communication can thrive.

Here are a few questions to consider as you think about your leadership approach:

• Are you creating a culture where your team feels safe enough to bring you their concerns, ideas, and feedback without fear of judgment?

• How are you showing up as your authentic self in your leadership role? Do your actions align with your core values and ethics?

• What practices can you put in place to encourage open dialogue and ensure that both the positive and the challenging aspects of your team’s contributions are being heard and valued?

Action Step: Have a candid conversation with a trusted colleague or advisor about the culture you’re building within your team. Are there ways you could be unintentionally inhibiting trust or creating barriers to performance? What steps could you take to build a more authentic and safe environment for your team?

Building trust and authenticity isn’t just about making people feel good—it’s about unlocking their full potential and driving long-term success for your team and organization.

Shifting Gears: How to Stop Awfulizing & Accelerate Your Leadership

I vividly remember the day I set out on a road trip as an 18-year-old, driving from Peoria, Illinois, to Des Moines, Iowa, where I was a student at Drake University. It was my second year in Pharmacy school, and I decided to take a scenic route through small towns instead of the faster interstate. I wanted to enjoy the drive, maybe even savor a bit of the freedom of being on my own.

But about 60 miles in, something unexpected happened. My beloved '66 Chevy Belair, affectionately known as "Old Blue," started slowing down. It wouldn’t go faster than 35 miles per hour. The speed limit back then was 55, and cars were speeding by me. Embarrassment set in.

You see, in those younger years, driving fast wasn’t just a habit; it was almost a rite of passage. I even had a personal motto: “Nobody passes Old Blue.”

Now, here I was, barely moving, and what I felt wasn’t just embarrassment anymore—it was fear. That kind of fear that takes over your thoughts.

What was wrong with the car?

More importantly, what had I done to it?

My mind raced with possibilities, something many of us experience in difficult situations. This mental process is known as awfulizing.

Awfulizing is when we catastrophize a situation, imagining the worst possible outcomes without any real evidence. In my case, I immediately thought of everything that could go wrong:

• Did I forget to change the oil?

• Had I blown the engine?

• Did I put the wrong gas in?

But there was a bigger fear under all of that: How was I going to explain this to my dad?

I wasn’t just dealing with a mechanical problem; I was wrestling with the weight of responsibility and the looming sense of having let someone down.

Awfulizing: Meaning and Impact

Awfulizing, simply put, is the habit of expecting the worst. It’s a mindset where we let our fears and anxieties spiral, imagining every potential disaster. It’s not just about feeling worried—it’s about mentally jumping to the most negative outcomes, even when the evidence doesn’t support them.

As leaders, this kind of thinking can paralyze us.

When a project goes off track, or when there’s uncertainty in the market, awfulizing can take over, leading to poor decision-making. The key is recognizing when we’re awfulizing and learning how to stop.

How to Stop Awfulizing: PausE to Reflect

Looking back, what I didn’t realize at the time was how much that experience mirrored challenges we face as leaders.

Awfulizing causes us to react impulsively, often in ways that aren’t helpful. When pressure mounts and things start to go wrong, our first instinct might be to react quickly, trying to fix the problem as soon as possible.

But the first step in learning how to stop awfulizing is often the hardest: pausing.

In that moment, instead of letting worst-case scenarios run through my mind, I could have paused to assess the situation more calmly. Was the car really in such bad shape, or was my fear exaggerating the problem?

As leaders, when challenges arise, we must pause, reflect, and ask the right questions: What’s really happening here? What evidence do I have? And most importantly, am I awfulizing this situation?

How to Stop Awfulizing: See the Bigger Picture

On that day with Old Blue, I wasn’t just worried about fixing the car; I was grappling with a sense of responsibility that went beyond the mechanical issue. The car wasn’t just a mode of transportation—it was a connection to my family, specifically my grandfather, who had entrusted it to me. This added an emotional layer to the situation that made everything feel more intense, feeding my awfulizing.

As leaders, we often face challenges that are about more than just the task at hand. There are deeper layers—relationships, expectations, and personal stakes—that influence how we respond. Being able to see the bigger picture is crucial. When something goes wrong, it’s easy to focus on the immediate problem, but effective leadership requires us to recognize the emotional & relational dimensions at play.

When awfulizing takes hold, we narrow our focus to the worst outcomes. But by understanding the bigger picture, we can regain perspective & clarity.

How to Stop Awfulizing: Adapt When the Plan Changes

Once I realized Old Blue wasn’t going to fix itself, I had to adapt. I pulled over, checked what I could, and eventually made it back home safely, though not without a detour or two.

This ability to adapt—to change course when things don’t go as expected—is crucial in leadership.

Plans rarely unfold perfectly, and unexpected challenges are inevitable. Whether it’s a shifting market, a team dynamic that changes, or a project that hits an unforeseen snag, leaders must be able to pivot without losing focus.

The question isn’t whether you’ll encounter obstacles—it’s how you’ll respond when you do.

Are you flexible enough to adjust your approach while keeping your team and your goals in mind? More importantly, are you recognizing when awfulizing might be preventing you from seeing practical solutions?

How to Stop Awfulizing: Build Trust

While fear and anxiety were my initial responses to the situation, what ultimately got me through was trust—trust in myself to figure things out, and trust that I could find a way to make it work. When we’re caught in the cycle of awfulizing, it’s easy to lose trust in ourselves and in those around us.

Building trust—both in ourselves and in our teams—is essential, especially when things don’t go according to plan.

Trust comes from consistently showing up, being honest about the situation, and maintaining a sense of steadiness, even when you’re not sure what the outcome will be.

How are you showing your team that they can trust you, even when the road gets bumpy? And how are you building trust in yourself to stop awfulizing and find a constructive way forward?

BEYOND AWFULIZING: Leading with Purpose

Sometimes, no matter how much we plan, life has a way of slowing us down. And when it does, how we respond makes all the difference.

So, how will you navigate the next detour or unexpected roadblock? Will you rush to awfulize the situation, or will you take a moment to reflect, adapt, and lead with clarity and purpose?

Just as Old Blue taught me valuable lessons about adapting and overcoming fear, our leadership journeys offer countless opportunities to grow beyond awfulizing. The next time you face your own "Old Blue" moment, choose to lead with resilience and clarity instead of letting fear take the wheel.

5 Keys to Creating a Team Culture that Thrives

Years ago, I worked with an organization where "respect for people" was a deeply ingrained value. This value was expressed in tangible ways - whether it was the support provided when an employee faced personal loss, or the generous parental leave that respected the importance of family. In this environment, performance was rewarded fairly, & everyone felt valued. The culture fostered trust & collaboration, & the team thrived.

Then a new leader stepped in.

Instead of embracing this positive culture, they began making changes—without communication or transparency. New performance standards were put in place, but only a few select individuals were informed. High-performing employees were suddenly given low ratings, & soon, the once high-functioning department began to fall apart. Morale dropped. People were confused, & the consistent, trusted culture disappeared.

In just six months, the entire department had been decimated. The leader was replaced, but by then, many top performers had already left. The damage was irreversible.

This story is a powerful reminder that leadership isn’t just about driving results. It’s about building a culture that supports, motivates, & retains talent. A culture where team members feel valued & secure enables them to perform at their best. When that safety & trust are lost, so is their motivation - & often, their loyalty.

Building a Culture of Trust & Performance

As a leader, your influence shapes the culture of your team. But building a thriving culture isn’t just about processes or rules. It’s about how you engage with your team, the values you model, and the consistency you bring.

And a high-performing culture doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when leaders are intentional about the way they show up. Here are five key things you can focus on to build a team culture where people feel motivated and valued:

1. Be Self-Aware

Understanding yourself is the first step to understanding others. Know your strengths, your blind spots, & how your emotions impact your decision-making. Teams look to their leader for cues, and your reactions—especially under stress—set the tone for how others will respond. When you are aware of how you come across, you can lead with authenticity and create a culture where people feel safe to be themselves.

2. Communicate Clearly and Consistently

One of the biggest frustrations for team members is unclear or inconsistent communication. As a leader, it’s essential to be transparent about expectations, changes, and the vision you’re driving toward. Be clear about the what, the why, & the how. When communication is consistent, your team knows where they stand & can focus on delivering their best work.

3. Be Empathetic

Empathy is more than understanding someone’s situation—it’s about making space for people to feel heard and valued, even when their challenges don’t mirror your own. An empathetic leader creates a culture where team members trust that their voices matter. When employees feel understood, they’re more likely to engage & contribute meaningfully.

4. Lead with Consistency and Fairness

Consistency builds trust. When you make decisions, stick to your principles, & be predictable in how you apply policies or standards. This gives your team the confidence that they won’t be blindsided by sudden changes or favoritism. Consistency allows them to focus on their work rather than second-guessing your next move.

5. Foster Optimism and Resilience

Positivity can be contagious, but optimism goes deeper than just a good attitude. It’s about seeing setbacks as temporary & solvable challenges, rather than roadblocks. As a leader, when you maintain an optimistic outlook, you inspire resilience in your team. They’ll be more inclined to rise to challenges, knowing they’re supported by a leader who believes in solutions and growth.

Take a Moment to Reflect

How are you showing up as a leader today? Are you creating an environment where people feel safe, valued, & motivated? Take a moment to consider this prompt:

• I want to be more ____________ so that my team feels ____________, and together we will create a culture that ____________.

Take what you wrote and share it with a mentor or a coach—someone who can provide honest feedback & support your growth as a leader. Leadership is a continuous journey. Reflecting on where you can improve is a powerful step toward building the team culture you want to see.

3 Ideas to Help You Succeed

It is important to ask the right questions as we write our success story. As a coach, it is my responsibility to help individuals gain a different perspective on these questions, and a common strategy I use to do this is by reframing them. For instance, instead of asking, "As an HR Vice President, what does leadership development look like?" a more impactful question could be, "What actions can I take to advance to my next role in the company?"

Similarly, a sales leader may be concerned with balancing work and family. Reframing the question to, "How can I ensure that the financial benefits of working overtime will justify the time spent away from my family?" provides a clearer understanding of the underlying issue.

It is important to understand that while knowledge of one's approach, goal setting, problem solving, resource prioritization, and risk assessment are all valuable, the answers to these questions should ultimately drive individuals towards self-reflection and, ultimately, actionable change and growth.

Self-efficacy refers to the belief in one's own capabilities and skills. Research suggests that having confidence in oneself has a positive impact on one's performance, satisfaction, happiness, and overall well-being. In other words, self-efficacy is linked to success.

A study published in the December 2016 issue of the Consulting Psychology Journal highlights three key strategies that can help individuals increase their self-efficacy through coaching.

1. Invest Time: The longer the coaching relationship lasts, the greater the increase in confidence seen in the individual. As a coach, it is important to observe and acknowledge the increase in confidence in the person being coached towards the coaching objective.

2. Verbalize Confidence: The more individuals verbalize their confidence, the higher the likelihood of them achieving their goal. Statements such as "I am going to do this" show confidence in their ability, and the more they make these commitments aloud, the greater the belief in themselves.

3. Ask the Right Questions: Coaches can ask questions that fall into three categories: open-ended, proposing solutions, or providing support. According to the study, proposing solutions is the most effective method in triggering self-efficacy statements in the first coaching session. The other two methods are also valid, but they merely enhance the confidence of the individual over the course of the coaching engagement.

As you work with and coach others on your team, focus on asking open-ended questions and providing support for the ideas they bring. Resist the temptation to offer advice or provide solutions. This approach will help individuals believe in themselves and achieve their goals, leading to greater success and satisfaction in their personal and professional lives.

Navigating Negative Feedback as a Leader

As leaders, we often face a challenging reality: receiving feedback that doesn't align with our self-perception. How we handle this misalignment can significantly impact our effectiveness & growth. In my years as an Executive Coach, I've observed this struggle firsthand & developed strategies to help leaders navigate these waters more successfully.

The Mirror of Perception: Self-Awareness & Feedback

One tool I frequently use in my coaching practice is the "Interview 360." This process helps leaders understand how they're viewed within their organization and how these perceptions align with their self-image. The insights gained can be eye-opening & sometimes uncomfortable.

Consider this: How closely does your self-perception match how others see you? Leaders who excel typically demonstrate a strong alignment between these perspectives. They have a clear understanding of their strengths and areas for growth. But what happens when there's a disconnect?

The Emotional Impact of Misalignment

When leaders receive feedback that contradicts their self-view, common responses include:

• "That wasn't my intention!"

• "I'm being penalized for circumstances beyond my control."

• "My actions were taken out of context."

These reactions are natural defensive mechanisms. The real challenge, however, lies in moving beyond this initial response to a place of growth and learning.

From Defensiveness to Development

While defensiveness is a common first reaction, remaining in this state can limit our ability to learn & grow. Leaders who struggle to process negative feedback might be grappling with what I call the "perfection paradox" – the difficulty in accepting our own imperfections.

The key is to acknowledge your initial emotional response and then move towards a more balanced perspective. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this feedback, even if I don't fully agree with it?

The Thermostat Approach: Regulating Your Leadership Climate

I often use the analogy of a thermostat versus a thermometer when coaching leaders on self-regulation. Ask yourself: Are you a thermostat or a thermometer in your leadership role?

- Thermometer Leaders: React to the environment around them, allowing external factors to dictate their responses.

- Thermostat Leaders: Regulate the climate, maintaining a balanced perspective even in challenging situations.

Developing your ability to self-regulate helps you transition from a reactive thermometer to a proactive thermostat. This skill is crucial for processing feedback effectively and maintaining your leadership composure.

Practical Steps for Processing Challenging Feedback

Navigating challenging feedback effectively is a skill that can be developed with practice & intention. By practicing these skills, you can turn difficult conversations into opportunities for growth. Here are five steps to help you process & respond to challenging feedback: 

1. Pause & Reflect: When receiving difficult feedback, take a moment to acknowledge your initial reaction without judgment.

2. Seek Clarity: Ask for specific examples and context. This demonstrates your openness to understanding.

3. Consider Other Perspectives: Try to see the situation from different angles. What might others be experiencing?

4. Identify Growth Opportunities: How can this feedback contribute to your development as a leader? Frame it as a learning experience.

5. Develop an Action Plan: Based on the insights gained, what specific steps can you take to address the feedback constructively?

The Leadership Advantage

Leaders who excel at handling feedback create an environment where open communication thrives & continuous improvement is the norm. They turn potential setbacks into stepping stones for growth, benefiting both themselves & their organizations.

Your Leadership Journey

As you reflect on your recent experiences with feedback, consider:

• How has your response to feedback influenced your actions and relationships?

• In what ways can you become more of a 'thermostat' in your leadership role?

• What specific skills do you need to develop to handle challenging feedback more effectively?

Remember, the journey to effective leadership is ongoing. Each piece of feedback, positive or negative, is an opportunity to refine your skills & enhance your impact. How will you use your next challenging feedback to fuel your growth as a leader?

3 Reasons People Make Change

As a coach, I'm often asked, "Why do people change?" This question reveals a lot about how we perceive human potential & our role as leaders in nurturing growth. Let's explore three key reasons people change & how leaders can support this process.

The Capacity for Change

Before we dive into the reasons people change, let's briefly touch on our capacity for transformation. Our brains are incredibly adaptable, constantly forming new connections in response to our experiences & choices. This neuroplasticity is the foundation of personal growth. As leaders, understanding our capacity for change can profoundly impact how we approach development in our teams & ourselves.

3 Reasons People Make Change

1. Increased Self-Understanding

When individuals gain a deeper understanding of themselves - their strengths, weaknesses, & impact on others - they often identify aspects they want to improve.

In practice, this might manifest as an executive recognizing that their direct leadership style, while efficient in crisis situations, actually suppresses creativity & team involvement in day-to-day operations. By understanding this gap between their default approach & the needs of their organization, they can make intentional changes. 

Leadership Insight: How are you helping your team members gain self-understanding? Are you providing regular, constructive feedback that helps them recognize their impact?

2. Heightened Awareness of Others 

As people become more attuned to how their actions affect those around them, they often feel motivated to change. This increased awareness can lead to significant personal growth and improved relationships.

Picture a leader who's always chasing the next deadline. One day, they notice their team seems stressed & uninspired. And suddenly it clicks: Always rushing for quick wins is hurting the big picture. So they try something new. They start planning further ahead, invest time in their team's growth, & really champion taking breaks & logging off. Soon enough, they see the payoff - a more stable team, more creative solutions, & stronger results across the board.

Leadership Insight: How are you modeling awareness of others in your leadership? Are you creating opportunities for your team to develop & practice this skill?

3. Internal Drive

People with a strong sense of internal motivation are often driven by personal satisfaction and a desire for growth rather than external rewards. This internal drive can be a powerful force for change.

Imagine an executive with a grand vision for their organization's future. They might recognize that to turn that vision into reality, they need to transform their own leadership approach. They begin challenging themselves to be more bold, to inspire more innovative thinking in their team, & to make gutsier decisions. It's their internal drive to create something truly significant that pushes them to grow & change as a leader.

Leadership Insight: How are you tapping into your team members' internal motivations? Are you providing opportunities for growth that align with their personal goals?

Why Do People Change? The Leader's Role in Facilitating Transformation

Understanding why people change is only half the battle. Our job as leaders isn't just to see the potential for transformation - it's to create an environment where change can thrive. Here are a few tricks to help you get started: 

1. Encourage regular self-reflection: Create opportunities for your team to pause & evaluate their progress, challenges, & goals. This could be through guided exercises or dedicated time for introspection.

2. Provide constructive feedback: Offer specific, actionable insights that highlight both strengths & areas for improvement. Make this a two-way street by also soliciting feedback on your leadership.

3. Offer opportunities for skill development: Invest in your team's growth by providing access to training, workshops, or stretch assignments that align with their career aspirations & your organizational needs.

4. Recognize & celebrate growth: Acknowledge the efforts & progress your team members make, not just the end results. This reinforces the value of the change process itself.

5. Model the change you want to see: Demonstrate your own commitment to growth by openly sharing your learning experiences & how you're applying new insights.

As you implement these strategies, you'll find yourself naturally shifting from simply understanding why people change to actively supporting & nurturing that change. This journey will challenge you to examine your own assumptions & see your team members not just as they are, but as they're becoming. It's this perspective - viewing people through the lens of their potential - that truly elevates leadership & drives meaningful transformation.

Moving Forward: Leveraging the 3 Reasons People Change

Leadership & personal growth go hand in hand, & understanding why people change is the thread that ties it all together. By recognizing these three drivers of change & nurturing an environment that champions growth, you're paving the way for both your team & yourself to thrive.

But understanding why people change is just the first step in your leadership journey. The real power comes from applying this knowledge to transform your leadership style & your organization. Navigating this transformation can be challenging – that's where expert guidance can make all the difference.

I’ve invested more than 3 decades helping leaders like you not just understand change, but leverage it to drive personal & organizational growth. Through coaching, you'll learn to:

1. Identify & nurture the catalysts for positive change in yourself & your team

2. Create an environment that supports & accelerates personal & professional growth

3. Develop strategies to overcome resistance to change, both internal & external

4. Transform your leadership style to inspire & guide your team through periods of change

To learn how Dr. Livingston’s expertise in change management & leadership development can help you turn the insights from this blog into actionable strategies for your organization, click here. 

The Optimism Effect: What High-Performing Leaders Do Differently

In our increasingly interconnected world, one trait consistently stands out in effective leadership: optimism. Not the blind optimism that glosses over challenges, but a grounded, clear-eyed outlook that drives effective decision-making & action.

As a coach, I've seen firsthand how optimism can transform not just individual leaders, but entire organizations. This 5-minute read will explore why optimism is such a critical leadership trait & how you can harness its power to drive success in your role.

Leveraging Optimism for Leadership Success

First, let's clarify what optimism means in the context of leadership. It's not about expecting everything to go perfectly, but maintaining a positive outlook while acknowledging & preparing for potential obstacles.

Optimistic leaders view challenges as opportunities rather than roadblocks. They inspire confidence, motivating their teams to persevere through difficulties with a sense of purpose.

The adaptability that comes with optimism cannot be overstated. As the pace of change accelerates, leaders face increasingly complex challenges requiring both agility & resilience. Optimistic leaders thrive by adopting a growth mindset, which leads to better problem-solving & stronger results.

Take a moment to reflect: How does your outlook shape your leadership approach? Do you see challenges as dead ends, or as opportunities for growth / creative solutions?

The Impact of Optimism on Team Dynamics

The influence of optimism extends far beyond the individual leader. Leaders who cultivate optimism naturally boost cooperation & trust within their teams. They create environments where people feel supported & confident enough to take calculated risks.

By supporting a culture where positivity strengthens resilience, optimistic leaders encourage teams to face challenges with curiosity, which often leads to innovative solutions. In uncertain times, this forward-thinking approach is critical.

Perhaps most crucially, optimistic leaders build a sense of collective efficacy—the belief that the team can succeed together. This shared confidence boosts morale, driving both higher performance & more successful outcomes.

Want to infuse more optimism into your leadership style? Here are two actionable steps:

1. Begin meetings by highlighting recent successes or positive progress, no matter how small. This creates a sense of momentum & sets a tone of possibility.

2. When facing challenges, lead your team in identifying potential opportunities within the problem. Encourage them to think creatively & focus discussions on solutions rather than obstacles.

Optimism as a Leadership Strategy

While pessimism might produce quick results by encouraging caution, optimism is linked to sustained leadership success. This is particularly important for organizations focused on long-term strategy & growth. Leaders with an optimistic mindset are natural visionaries, skilled at both planning strategically & inspiring their teams with a compelling vision of the future.

Beyond vision, optimism plays a crucial role in building resilience. Optimistic leaders help teams recover quickly from setbacks by framing failures as learning opportunities. This mindset not only accelerates recovery but also reinforces adaptability—an essential quality for long-term organizational success.

You might be wondering, "This sounds great, but how can I develop this kind of optimism?" While it takes time & practice, the benefits are well worth the investment.

The first step is to develop a realistic sense of optimism. This requires facing challenges head-on while believing in your capacity to navigate them. Try shifting your perspective in tough situations by asking, "What opportunities can I find in this obstacle?"

Optimism isn't about wishful thinking, it's about pairing a positive outlook with pragmatic action. As challenges arise, analyze them, make a plan, & maintain your belief that solutions will be found. Are you leveraging this balanced approach to optimism in your decision-making process?

Optimism in Action: Your Next Steps

Now that we’ve uncovered the value of optimism in leadership, you might be thinking, "How do I apply this in my day-to-day life?" Let’s shift from ideas to action & explore some practical steps in becoming a more optimistic leader. 

Remember, optimism is a lifelong leadership skill. Even minor adjustments in your approach can lead to huge outcomes. Ready to elevate your optimistic leadership? Start with these actionable techniques:

1. When you encounter a challenge, take a moment to ask yourself, ‘What new possibilities could this situation present?’ This mindset shift opens doors for creative problem-solving.

2. Celebrate progress, no matter how incremental. Recognizing even the smallest victories reinforces a culture of progress & momentum. Ask yourself, "What recent win, no matter how minor, can I acknowledge today?" Celebrating these moments not only boosts morale but also strengthens your team's confidence in moving toward larger goals.

3. Model optimistic thinking to your team. Demonstrate a positive, solution-focused mindset in your daily actions, & recognize when team members follow your lead. Ask yourself, "How can I lead by example to create a ripple effect of optimism?" 

As a leader, your mindset magnifies your impact across the organization. How can you harness optimism to impact the way your team views challenges? What potential could this mindset shift unlock within your organization?

Here’s to your continued growth as an optimistic leader!

5 Questions That Will Change the Way You Support Your Team

A leader's ability to ask the right questions can be as crucial as their capacity to make decisions. Thoughtful inquiries not only gather information, but also nurture a workplace environment where team members feel valued, understood, & empowered.

As leaders, we often focus on providing answers. But what if the key to elevating our team's performance & well-being lies in asking the right questions?

Consider these five transformative questions designed to unlock your team's full potential & create a more dynamic, collaborative culture. 

1. "What current project energizes you the most?"

This question taps into your team members' intrinsic motivation & self-awareness. By understanding what energizes them, you can:

• Align tasks with individual strengths & interests

• Identify potential areas for professional development

• Foster a sense of purpose & job satisfaction

Remember, when team members work on projects they find energizing, their enthusiasm often translates into higher productivity & more innovation.

2. "Where do you see opportunities for improvement in our team?"

This question encourages your team to think critically about their work environment. It touches on:

• Self-management & problem-solving skills

• Organizational awareness

• Growth mindset 

By asking this question, you're signaling that you value their insights & are open to change. It often results in valuable adjustments that optimize procedures while elevating overall job satisfaction.

3. "What's the biggest obstacle you're facing in your role?"

This question opens a dialogue about resilience. It allows you to:

• Identify potential roadblocks early

• Assess your team's stress levels & coping strategies

• Offer timely support or resources

The key here is to listen actively & collaborate on solutions, rather than simply providing answers. This approach empowers leaders by building problem-solving skills & trust.

4. "How would you describe our current team dynamics?"

This question requires emotional courage from both you & your team. By asking this, you're:

• Demonstrating that you value transparency

• Encouraging empathy & social awareness within the team

• Proactively addressing issues that could impact performance

Your response to the feedback received is crucial. Practice active listening, show empathy, & resist the urge to become defensive. 

5. "What can I do to support you in your role?”

This final question shows your dedication to your team's success. It emphasizes:

• Building strong, collaborative partnerships

• Flexible & responsive leadership

• Ongoing professional development

The responses to this question can offer great insights into the effectiveness of your leadership approach & its impact on your team. Use this feedback to fine-tune your strategies, tailor your support, & meet the unique needs of each team member.

Turning Insight Into Action 

To leverage these 5 questions for maximum effectiveness, try this: 

1. Integrate the questions into your regular one-on-ones & team meetings

2. Create a safe environment where honest answers are encouraged & valued

3. Follow up on the insights gained & take visible action where appropriate

4. Use responses to inform your decisions about resource allocation, training, & team structure

Remember, the true value lies not just in the asking, but in the conversations, insights, & actions that follow.

As you incorporate these questions into your leadership practice, pay close attention to the shifts in team dynamics, individual performance, & overall workplace atmosphere. The small changes you observe today could be the precursors to significant improvements tomorrow.

At your next meeting, why not choose one of these questions & observe how it shifts the conversation? You might be surprised by the depth of insights & the new directions it opens for your team.

The Ripple Effect of Leadership Influence

Leadership, at its core, is about influence. Our ability to shape outcomes, drive change, & inspire action defines our effectiveness as leaders. Even so, within the complex dynamics of modern organizations, influence does not function as a straightforward, universal skill. It’s a complex discipline that relies on emotional intelligence, adaptability, & a commitment to building meaningful relationships. 

As you think back on your leadership journey, consider this: How effectively are you influencing outcomes in your organization? Are you making the most of the influence strategies available to you?

The reality is that influence isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. It's a dynamic skill that requires us to be tuned into the needs of our teams, the demands of each unique situation, and the ongoing evolution of our industries. Let’s take a closer look at the concept of influence & how you can adopt various styles to increase your leadership impact.

The Multifaceted Nature of Influence

Influence comes in many forms, each with its own strengths & challenges. Some leaders lean on logic & data, while others inspire through assertiveness or motivation. Some excel in negotiation, & others build their influence through collaboration. As you think about these different approaches, ask yourself: What’s your default influence style as a leader? Recognizing your natural tendencies is the first step toward expanding your influence toolkit.

Let’s take a closer look at each style to explore how you can grow your leadership impact.

Logic and Data: The Foundation of Persuasion

In a data-driven world, the ability to leverage facts & analysis is critical. This influence style involves presenting clear, logical arguments supported by credible evidence. It's particularly effective when dealing with analytical personalities or in situations requiring objective decision-making.

However, here's where emotional intelligence comes into play: While data is powerful, it's important to balance rationality with emotional awareness. Remember, even the most logical individuals are influenced by emotions.

How can you present your data in a way that resonates both intellectually & emotionally with your audience?

Assertiveness: Communicating with Clarity & Confidence

Clear, direct communication is a trademark of the most influential leaders. Assertiveness involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, & needs openly, with confidence, while respecting others. It's about standing firm on important issues & clearly articulating your expectations.

The key EQ strategy here is to balance assertiveness with emotional expression.

How can you communicate your position firmly while still showing respect & consideration for others' views? 

Finding Common Ground: The Art of Negotiation

Skilled negotiators understand that influence often requires finding win-win solutions. This requires the ability to pinpoint mutual goals & offer value to all stakeholders.

Mastery in this area requires leaning on your emotional intelligence skills, particularly interpersonal relationships & empathy. Can you accurately gauge & address others' needs? Can you stay composed & focused, even under pressure? Strengthening these skills can greatly improve your negotiation abilities. 

Inspiring Action: Motivating Through Vision

Some of the most influential leaders are those who can paint a compelling picture of the future & inspire others to work towards it.This method focuses on uniting people around a common goal & sparking their enthusiasm & commitment.

The EQ technique here is to tap into optimism & shared values. How can you articulate your vision in a way that resonates with your team’s sense of purpose? Remember, people are moved not just by what you say, but by how you make them feel about the possibilities ahead.

Building Bridges: Collaborative Influence

In the complexity of modern work environments, promoting collaboration is a priceless skill.This influence style focuses on building trust, encouraging open dialogue, & creating a sense of shared ownership.

The EQ approach here centers on cultivating empathy & flexibility. Can you truly put yourself in others' shoes? Are you creating an environment where diverse perspectives are valued & integrated? These skills are essential for building the kind of trust that leads to long-term influence.

The Ripple Effect of Influence

As we've explored various influence styles, it's easy to focus solely on their immediate impact. However, true mastery of influence requires us to consider its long-term, ripple effects.

Have you ever skipped a stone across a pond? The initial splash is just the beginning. The ripples extend outward, affecting areas far beyond the initial point of impact.

In leadership, your influence doesn't stop with the person you're directly interacting with - it spreads through your organization & beyond in ways you might not anticipate.

This ripple effect challenges us to think bigger about our approach to influence. When you influence a team member, how might that impact their interactions with clients? When you negotiate with a partner, how could that impact your industry's practices?

To make the most of this ripple effect, try mapping out the potential consequences of your influence. Before a crucial conversation or decision, ask yourself:

1. Who else might be indirectly affected by my influence?

2. How could my influence spread beyond its initial target?

3. What potential unintended consequences - positive or negative - should I consider?

When you widen your perspective, your influence is no longer limited to individuals or situations – it begins to shape the ecosystem of your organization & industry.  As you continue on your leadership path, challenge yourself to think beyond the short-term impacts of your actions. By harnessing the ripple effect, you have the potential to drive significant, lasting change that reaches well beyond your immediate influence. 

Weathering the Storm: How Great Leaders Navigate Uncertain Seas

From global health crises to economic fluctuations, technological disruptions to political tensions, leaders are navigating waters that feel increasingly choppy & unpredictable.

But here's something to consider: What if uncertainty isn't a challenge to overcome, but an opportunity to embrace?

Think back to a time when your professional life was disrupted. Maybe it was a sudden shift in the market, an unexpected change in leadership, or even a global event that turned your business model upside down. How did you feel at that moment?

Overwhelmed? Anxious? Maybe even a little bit excited by the possibilities?

Uncertainty does more than just challenge our leadership - it makes space for transformation. By shifting our perspective & developing the right strategies, we can turn challenging times into opportunities for meaningful change.

So how do leaders not just survive but thrive in turbulent times? How do we stay grounded when the ground underneath our feet seems to be constantly shifting? Let's explore some helpful strategies, starting with one of the most crucial: communication.

Build Trust Through Transparency

In times of uncertainty, silence can be your worst enemy. It creates a vacuum that anxiety & misinformation quickly fill. Instead:

1. Share what you know (& what you don't): Be honest about the current reality, including the unknowns. This transparency builds trust & reduces unnecessary speculation & worry.

2. Communicate regularly: Establish a consistent rhythm of updates. Even if there's no new information, reiterating the current state of affairs can be reassuring.

3. Listen actively: Create channels for two-way communication. Your team's concerns & insights can provide valuable perspective & help inform your decisions.

Optimize Your Impact Zone

When everything seems uncertain, it's easy to get lost in "what-ifs." Instead, direct your energy towards things that are actionable:

1. Identify your areas of influence: What parts of the situation can you directly impact? Focus your immediate efforts there.

2. Set short-term, achievable goals: Break down larger objectives into small, manageable tasks. In times of uncertainty, the feeling of progress & accomplishment can be a real boost to keep you moving forward. 

3. Don’t neglect your systems: Prioritize keeping essential operations running smoothly. This operational continuity gives a sense of normalcy in chaotic times.

Welcome Uncertainty as Opportunity 

When the future is unpredictable, inflexible strategies often break down. Agility becomes a key leadership skill: 

1. Encourage scenario planning: Work with your team to envision various potential outcomes & develop flexible strategies for each.

2. Accept change as constant: Create a team culture that views change as an ongoing process rather than a disruption. This mindset helps everyone remain flexible & responsive.

Prioritize Well-Being for All 

Unpredictable times can be draining. Emphasizing wellness isn't simply considerate - it's necessary for long-term effectiveness:

1. Model self-care: Demonstrate the importance of taking good care of yourself, especially in challenging times.

2. Check in regularly: Have one-on-one conversations with team members to gauge their stress levels & provide support as needed.

Lead with Purpose

In turbulent times, a clear sense of purpose can be a powerful stabilizing force:

1. Reaffirm collective goals: Remind your team of their vital role in the bigger picture.

2. Make values-based decisions: Lean on organizational values to navigate ambiguity.

The true measure of leadership often reveals itself in times of uncertainty. By implementing these strategies - from transparent communication to purposeful decision-making - you're not just weathering the storm, you're using it as a catalyst for growth.

As you face your next challenge, remember: how you navigate uncertainty shapes not only the present but the future of your team & organization. Keep your vision focused, your strategies flexible, & your purpose unwavering. Even when the way forward is uncertain, purposeful leadership can turn ambiguity into a force for transformation.

The Case for Curiosity

When was the last time someone on your team asked, “Why do we do it this way?” or “What if we tried something different?” If it’s been a while, you’re not alone. Despite the well-known benefits of curiosity - greater creativity, better problem-solving, & happier employees - it’s often crushed by the pressure to produce results quickly. Tight deadlines, the constant drive for efficiency, & the fear of failure can inadvertently silence the types of thoughts & questions that spark innovation.

But here’s the catch: without curiosity, innovation stalls. Teams fall into the trap of “business as usual” and organizations miss out on opportunities to explore new ideas, improve processes, & drive progress.

The curiosity advantage

The evidence for cultivating curiosity in the workplace is compelling.

At its core, curiosity requires a mindset that embraces the unknown, seeks out new perspectives, & challenges the status quo. In fact, research indicates that people with high levels of curiosity tend to make better decisions, as they are more inclined to explore various options & less likely to fall into the trap of confirmation bias.

For leaders, nurturing a culture of curiosity can lead to a more innovative, adaptable organization. By creating a space where team members feel empowered to explore new ideas, test assumptions, & learn from failures without fear of retribution, innovative solutions emerge naturally & continuous improvement becomes the norm. For example, companies like Google and 3M are known for their "20% time" policy, allowing employees to spend a portion of their work week on projects that interest them -  a practice that has led to innovations like Gmail & Post-it Notes. These success stories make a strong case for prioritizing curiosity as a key organizational value.

Building Blocks of a Curious Culture

Ready to unleash the power of curiosity in your team? Here are some practical steps to get you started:

1. Model Curiosity Yourself

• As a leader, your actions set the tone for your team. Start by asking more questions during meetings. And not just the usual “What’s the status of this project?” but deeper, more open-ended questions like “What assumptions are we making here?” or “How could we approach this differently?” Expressing your own curiosity shows your team that it’s okay to ask questions & encourages them to do the same.

2. Create Safe Spaces for Exploration

• Shift your team's perspective to see work as a collection of experiments. Create space for open dialogue where ideas can be explored without the demand for immediate results.  This approach nurtures creativity by helping team members see value in trying new things, regardless of outcome.

3. Reward Question-Asking, Not Just Problem-Solving

• Recognize that breakthrough solutions often originate from asking the right questions. Acknowledge team members who show curiosity by asking thoughtful questions or sharing innovative ideas. By doing so, you signal that the curious mindset is a valuable asset to the team.

4. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

• One of the biggest barriers to curiosity is the fear of failure. As a leader, it’s important to create a culture where setbacks are viewed as stepping stones. When mistakes happen, shift the focus from fault-finding to lesson-learning. By embracing this mindset, you create a safe space for intellectual risk-taking, giving every team member the potential to be a catalyst for breakthrough.

Curiosity in Action 

Creating a culture of curiosity is a journey, not a destination.

By nurturing curiosity, you're planting the seeds for future breakthroughs & creating an environment where today's questions become tomorrow's innovations.

So, here's a challenge for you: At your next team gathering, pose this question: "What assumptions are we making that we haven't questioned?" The insights that emerge might just be the catalyst for your next big leap forward.

Remember, by championing curiosity, you're not just preparing your team for the future - you're empowering them to shape it.

Flex Your Feedback Recovery: A Leader's Guide to Emotional Resilience

Last week we kicked off our "feedback fitness" journey, exploring the basics of strengthening your feedback muscles. But just like any good physical workout requires proper rest & recovery, our emotional fitness demands the same attention. Today, we're focusing on an important & often overlooked aspect of feedback fitness: recovery.

In the world of physical training, recovery isn't just about lying on the couch. It's an active process that involves stretching, proper nutrition, & targeted exercises. Similarly, emotional recovery after challenging feedback conversations requires intentional practices to build your emotional resilience.

Have you ever felt like you've been hit by a truck after a tough feedback session? Or maybe you found yourself emotionally drained after delivering constructive criticism? All leaders at one point or another have found themselves exhausted by difficult feedback interactions.

But here's the good news: just like physical fitness, emotional resilience can be trained. And when it comes to feedback, this resilience is your secret weapon for bouncing back stronger than ever.

So, how do we build this emotional stamina? Let's explore some advanced techniques to level up your feedback fitness.

Receiving Feedback: Strengthening Your Emotional Core

1. Pause & Breathe: When you’re hit with difficult feedback, take deep breaths. This is your body's natural reset button to help regulate your emotional response.

2. Listen Actively: Resist the urge to defend immediately. Instead, focus on truly hearing the message. Ask clarifying questions to stretch your understanding.

3. Acknowledge Emotions: Identify what you're feeling. Is it anger? Disappointment? Shame? Naming your emotions is the first step in managing them effectively.

4. Find the Truth: Even if the delivery was poor or you disagree with 90% of what was said, there's often a grain of truth. Can you find it?

5. Express Gratitude: Although it may have been hard to hear, thank the person for their feedback. It takes courage to give honest feedback, & acknowledging this can shift the dynamic positively.

Giving Feedback: Perfecting Your Feedback Form

While we often focus on the recipient's experience, giving feedback can be just as taxing. It's like being the spotter in a heavy weightlifting session - you're not doing the main lift, but you're still exerting significant emotional & mental energy.

1. Process Your Own Emotions: Giving tough feedback can be emotionally draining. Take time to acknowledge & process your own feelings.

2. Reflect on the Interaction: Analyze what went well & what could be improved. This reflection is crucial for your growth as a leader.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember, delivering difficult feedback is a skill that improves with practice. Be kind to yourself in the learning process.

4. Plan for Follow-Up: Outline next steps for follow-up. This forward-thinking approach can help alleviate tension and ensure the feedback leads to positive change.

Bounce-Back Bootcamp: Restoring Balance After Feedback

Whether you're giving or receiving feedback, recovery is key to growth. Here's a comprehensive cool-down routine to build your emotional resilience:

1. Cool-Down Reflection: Immediately after a feedback session, take a few moments to process. Like a post-workout cool-down, this helps your emotional state return to baseline. Acknowledge your feelings and the overall outcome of the interaction.

1. Self-Compassion Stretches: Extend kindness to yourself after a challenging feedback session. Stretch your self-compassion muscles by acknowledging that delivering feedback is a skill that improves with practice.

2. Rehydrate Your Emotions:  Just as your body needs to rehydrate after a physical workout, you need to replenish your emotional reserves. Focus on activities that bring you joy & give you energy, whether it's spending time in nature, enjoying a hobby, or connecting with loved ones.

3. Log Your Workout: Within 24 hours of a significant feedback event, spend time writing about the experience. What went well? What could be improved? This is like logging your workouts to track progress over time.

Remember, emotional resilience isn't about developing a thick skin. The goal is to build the emotional muscle to lean into feedback conversations - both giving and receiving - and using both as a catalyst for growth. 

The next time you face a challenging feedback workout, don't neglect your recovery routine. With practice, you'll find yourself not just surviving tough conversations, but thriving because of them.

Are you ready to take your feedback recovery to the next level? Your fitness journey continues now!

Flex Your Feedback: A Leader's Guide to Communication Fitness

“Who has time to give feedback these days? Have you seen my calendar?”

"Why rock the boat? Things are fine as they are."

"Feedback? That's what performance reviews are for, right?"

Do these sentiments sound familiar? As a coach, I’ve heard all the excuses. But I've also seen the flip side—the untapped potential & missed opportunities that pile up when feedback takes a back seat.

So why do so many of us avoid it? And more importantly, how can we get better at it?

Enter "Feedback Fitness" — a practical approach to strengthening your feedback skills. Just like working out our physical bodies, it takes consistent practice to see gradual improvement.

Are you ready to flex your feedback muscles? 

The Feedback Fitness Test

Before we dive into our training regimen, let's assess your current feedback fitness level. Ask yourself:

1. How often do you give or receive feedback in a typical week?

2. Do you feel comfortable initiating feedback conversations?

3. Can you receive critical feedback without becoming defensive?

4. Do you adapt your feedback style based on the recipient?

If these questions left you feeling like you've been skipping leg day at the feedback gym, you’re in the right place. Even feedback "couch potatoes" can become communication all-stars. Use your answers as a baseline to track your progress. If you scored low, set small, achievable goals to improve. If you're already doing well, challenge yourself to refine your skills further.

Core Feedback Exercises

Let's start with some fundamental exercises to build your feedback muscles:

1. Clarity Crunches:
   When giving feedback, be specific and focus on behaviors, not personality. Instead of saying "You're unreliable," try "I noticed you missed the last two project deadlines."
   

2. Active Listening Lunges:
   Practice truly hearing the other person. Paraphrase what they've said to ensure understanding before responding.
   

3. Empathy Stretches:
   Put yourself in the other person's shoes. How might they be feeling? What might be driving their behavior?

Putting Your Feedback Fitness into Practice

Now that we've covered the basics, it's time to integrate these skills into your daily leadership routine. Think of this as moving from isolated exercises to a full workout regimen. And remember - consistency is crucial for seeing results:

1. Make Feedback a Daily Habit: Don't reserve feedback for formal reviews. Look for opportunities to offer quick, constructive comments throughout your day. This keeps your feedback skills sharp and makes the process feel more natural over time.
   

2. Adapt Your Approach: Recognize that different situations and team members may require different feedback styles. Develop the flexibility to adjust your approach as needed, much like varying your workout to target different areas.
   

3. Focus on Improvement: Frame your feedback in terms of growth and future performance. This forward-looking approach is more motivating and constructive than dwelling on past mistakes.
   

4. Listen Actively: Remember that effective feedback is a two-way street. Practice your active listening skills by encouraging the recipient to share their perspective. This not only provides valuable context but also strengthens your working relationships.
   

5. Follow Up: After giving significant feedback, check in on progress. This demonstrates your commitment to your team's development and ensures that your feedback leads to meaningful change.

By making these feedback exercises a regular part of your leadership routine, you're building a stronger, more resilient communication style. Keep at it & you’ll be seeing gains in no time! 

Embracing Your Feedback Fitness Journey

Mastering the art of feedback is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, & persistent effort to see significant improvement. There will be days when the feedback conversation feels as challenging as that last set of burpees. But with each interaction, you're building strength, flexibility, & endurance in your communication skills.

So, I challenge you: In your next interaction, flex those feedback muscles. Pay attention to how it changes the dynamic. Reflect on what worked well & where you can improve. The strength you build through consistent practice will not only redefine your leadership journey but also inspire those around you to flex their own feedback muscles, too. 

Are you ready to transform your leadership & your organization through the power of feedback? Your workout starts now! 

Dare to Doubt: Rethinking Your Way to Extraordinary Leadership

“Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

— George Barnard Shaw

What if the key to extraordinary leadership lies not in what we know, but in what we're willing to reconsider?

In my years as a coach, I've noticed something interesting: the most effective leaders are those who dare to question their own convictions.  This willingness to "think again," a concept wisely explored by Adam Grant in his book of the same name, isn't just a characteristic of exceptional leadership; it's a skill that can be cultivated through emotional intelligence.

At the heart of this ability is the understanding that leadership is a journey of continuous learning. But here's the crucial part: this growth mindset isn't just about accumulating knowledge. It's about developing the emotional intelligence to apply that knowledge effectively, transforming information into impactful action.

The Never-Ending Classroom of Leadership

Recently, I was working with a CEO who prides himself on his decisive leadership style. "I don't have time for second-guessing," he told me. But as we dove a little deeper, we uncovered a blind spot. His quick decisions, while efficient, were often alienating his team. This discovery highlighted a critical point: our leadership beliefs, no matter how firmly held, deserve regular reevaluation.

The truth is, in our fast-paced world, standing still is often equivalent to moving backward. Continuous learning is essential for personal & professional growth.

But here's where emotional intelligence comes into play – it's not just about learning new facts or skills. It's about developing the self-awareness to recognize our knowledge gaps AND the adaptability to fill them.

So, how can we cultivate this habit of lifelong learning? Here are just a few strategies I recommend to get you started: 

1. Dedicate daily time for reading & reflection through journaling

2. Ask for feedback from peers, mentors, & team members regularly

3. Engage with cross-functional projects when possible to broaden your perspectives

Remember, the goal isn't to know everything, but to remain curious & open to new ideas. 

Daring to Doubt: The Courage of Self-Examination

Remember my client, the CEO who prided himself on his decisive leadership style? I’m glad to report his journey didn't end with the realization that his quick decisions were alienating his team. It was just the beginning.

When was the last time you challenged a core belief about your leadership style? As leaders, we must be willing to question and re-question our thoughts and beliefs regularly. This process, although at times uncomfortable, is essential for our own professional development and the success of our teams.

For my client, it meant reconsidering his long-held belief that efficient decision-making was the cornerstone of effective leadership. Through the process of rethinking, he came to realize that this belief was interfering with his ability to connect with his team, particularly the younger generation of employees who valued collaboration & inclusion in the decision-making process.

By challenging this long-held belief & developing his emotional intelligence, particularly in the areas of empathy & active listening, he was able to create a more engaged, productive work environment. His decisions became not just efficient, but also more inclusive & well-rounded.

Take a few moments and think about what it might look like for you to...

• Regularly reflect to examine your decision-making processes?

• Seek diverse perspectives, especially from those who disagree with you?

• Play devil's advocate with your own ideas?

• Encourage constructive dissent within your team?

Rethink, Grow, Lead

Rethinking is not an easy process. It requires commitment, courage, & a willingness to be vulnerable. But the rewards – more effectiveness, stronger teams, & personal growth – are immeasurable.

Remember, extraordinary leadership isn't about having all the answers—it's about having the courage to question them. 

As you step into your next leadership challenge, ask yourself: What can I rethink? What can I learn? How can I grow? Your willingness to engage with these questions may just be your greatest leadership asset.